Yesterday
Yesterday I shared my thoughts about the lack of diversity in the sewing and quilting world and called out for those who felt moved to also pay attention and advocate when possible for a greater diversity when it comes to how quilters, knitters and those who sew are portrayed in the media. I used not only my brand-spanking new hashtag # SewDiverstiy but also the hastag #blacklivesmatter.
To say that there was a shit-storm of response to this post would be kind. Some of it wildly supportive and others not so much (I am the dominatrix of understatement on this count). Â I was pelted with vile insults both public and private as well as vows to ruin my business and never read at BAQS again based on the fact that I support the idea that as a white person I need to be part of the solution to the inequality endured by black people every damn day.
This support was taken by some to mean that I don’t give a flying fuck about white people, yellow or purple people either, or that I just don’t understand or possibly worst of all that I am speaking out in order to pander to my readers (where is the middle finger emoticon when you need it?). This left me in shock since as adults we are fully capable of holding disparate ideas  and reflecting on both in a way that does not require tossing around threats or hateful response.
I challenge each person who got their knickers in a twist and insisted that #Alllivesmatter is the replacement for #blacklivesmatter to sit down and talk to a group of black people about their experience being black today. I want you to understand the fear a black mother has that her child will be ruthlessly gunned down just because of their skin color, a fear I do not hold for my white sons. I want you to talk to a black quilter and understand the slights they endure each day, getting lesser service and assumptions about their level of skill.
When I say that #Blacklivesmatter I not saying something negative about white lives. No more than if I say ~ Save the forests~ do I mean ~ fuck the oceans~. The truth is that for those who have alway felt privileged, to be equal can feel like being unduly restricted and to admit we are privileged can feel shameful. Â I really like Chris Boeskool’s words on this matter and thought I would share them with you. (click on his name to go see his great article)
The Moon and Me
I stood last night staring at the moon. Outside was a hot, wet oven like one can only experience in July in the South. I thought of those who sent words of support today (thank you) and those who spoke from their point of privilege wrapped in fear or even hate and directed their anger and threats (no bueno) towards me for saying little more than the fact that we can do better as a people and a community in supporting our friends who are black. In many ways our views are worlds apart and yet we look at the same moon. The difference being that we look at it from different directions. It looks different to each of us and yet never fails to be the same moon… nothing changes that. Just like nothing changes the abuses suffered by black people in our culture. ( Again this does not exclude the abuses suffered by any other group it just so happens right now we are talking about black lives)
Kris Straub nailed it
I believe I have been very clear as founder of BAQS that I am a fierce and vocal advocate for those who have been disenfranchised no matter the reason. Â So for someone to be “horrified” or “disgusted” at the use of my voice and influence to express my thoughts on any matter ranging from those about using polyester thread on cotton fabric to my support of LGBT rights and diversity should not be a surprise ( have they spent anytime at all reading here?). To be told to “shut the hell up and just sell quilting fabric” only further convinces me that we can’t back away from such an important topic and honestly only really makes me dig my heels in further as an advocate.
To bastardized a quote … What part of BadAss don’t people understand?
EVERY DAMN TIME I am going to use my position, influence and platform to advocate for coming down on the right side of history. And those who don’t like it are more than welcome not to read my blog or hang out on my FB page.
For those who do like it.. or who have found BAQS due to these issue… welcome, I could not be more pleased to have you here.
And as a note.. this week we have lost a total of 15 readers and gained 210, if you happen to be interested in that sort of thing.
My heart breaks you had to deal with such negative folks over just speaking your points of view. As you know I will stick by BAQS as well as you as long as I have a breath in my body. I admire you for speaking your mind and being there for all colors of folks. Life is way to short for people to be negative towards other people. I’m sending a big ol hug from Arkansas in hopes maybe that will help you smile. If that doesn’t help just know your fabulous and that’s all that matters.
Thank you! Thank you for expressing what is in the hearts of so many.
Many blessings to you!
All it takes is for good people to say nothing to allow atrocities to continue.
Well done for speaking up.
As an Australian woman, Australia has a black history too. We say, this country was built on the blacks backs.
Without our Aboriginal Australians we would not have the amazing country we do. Our laws are different to yours and we have gun control laws, but still 27% of children in foster care are Aboriginal, 36% of people in custody are Aboriginal.
What does that tell you? The dominant culture non Aboriginal community over police the minority.
In Australia there were over 500 different nations before the British Invasion. It is indeed sad, that by chance of birth, we are either the oppressed or the oppressor.
I applaud you writing on the big issues. Please don’t stop. We will never have equality while good people are silent.
I’m sorry you received such negativity to your post. It’s disheartening how many people see black lives matter as a problem or as saying they matter more instead of they matter too. Yes all lives matter but it feels so much lately like many of us who are privileged to not be a minority have forgotten that and need to be reminded.
I wish your quilt shop were closer as I would totally visit. Not least because I really want that Harry Potter row by row pattern. Alas, I’m in California though.
I’m certainly sticking around !! No way can you get rid of me! Keep on being a BadAss. Love you.
Continue with your BadAss ways, I will follow you here and will spread the message of peace, love, inclusion and tolerance.
Carry on!
A 200 year old quote, from a British Statesman and a man of conscience,
“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil, is for good men to do nothing”!
As a black, gay woman, I am thankful to find your words about this issue. Those who have never experienced adversity are happy to sit on their perch and tell us how we should feel without ever asking and/or listening to the ways we have been marginalized. I have been in life threatening situations (yes, plural) from those in authority and will say that I am fortunate to be alive.
I’ve been quilting for over 10 years and could tell you stories about being followed in shops or spoken down to as though I was an idiot. I have been lucky to find my people here finally but it took a while to get there.
I will continue to support you and hope you don’t let the haters keep you from being the BadAss that you have always been.
Yes, yes, yes!
I need to do some shopping on your site as a way to show you my support!
I am not going anywhere. Your words make me want to plant my feet here even more. xox
I’m with you. Thanks for a terrific post and the link to Chris Beoskool’s wonderful piece. I’m so grateful to have run across BAQS while looking for my Frida fabric; I feel completely at home here, even though I’ve not been commenting much. From this grandmother and former teacher/librarian who moved from Memphis to Indiana (family reasons), know that I understand some of negativity you must face in your community and online. I’ve found as time goes by that the advocates often out number the detractors. They just tend to be less vocal. Keep standing up for what is right, because your voice is one that encourages many of us to keep doing the same!
I am gobsmacked that people gave you that kind of reaction. What about diversity and equality throws people off? I’m really sorry. But at the same time perhaps those aren’t the readers you want? Anyhow hi from Canada. Not a hot July here. Take care love.
It is sad but true that violence begets violence, whether it is words or physical. I don’t understand why trying to raise awareness for equality would cause people to get so bent out of shape. I guess they fear that equality for some people will mean equity for them and will take away some of the privileges they have taken for granted.
If we are all equal, how many of White Quilters would be ready to switch places in the life of a Black/Asian American/… American?
Taking a stand for what is right will always be a difficult one in America , I fear. The amazing principals we espouse as a country do not always follow in our communities. I am so sad for our present and almost terrified for our future.
Your words are right on and each one of us need to take note and speak out.
This is exactly what this issue is all about, allowing a voice to be heard even if it’s not your voice, they are not your words and even if you don’t agree with the story being told. Until we can listen, with respect, and truly hear what is being said these problems will continue…on this blog, on our streets and in this world.
When are adults going to learn that they can read a comment, disagree with it and move on.
Maddie, those very same people that were upset with you are the reason our country is in the state it is. They are the same people that have their heads in the sand and do nothing, the complainers with no action! You keep on with your badassness!
Darlin’ Badass, as a Queer Punk Quilter, most of whose family are POC, I say goddess bless and Thank you. Next time I have a little $ ahead I’m gonna get something from your shop. 🙂 I’m sad you had to deal with the sad hateful mentally ill people, but glad to hear you had an overall increase in readers.
love ya!
S. Ray
You are so right.
Haters gonna hate and hard as it is, we don’t have to dwell on their ‘thoughts’.
I wish I could come to your store and meet you and shop and be part of the community irl! You are an inspiration.
I am still here!
Maddie, I certainly look up to you for taking a stand! I would think that as the supreme quilter of the BAQS, I would certainly expect NOTHING LESS from you.
Also glad to hear that the net gain in readership was positive. I was out and about when you posted yesterday and when I saw the post this AM I posted to my blog with a link to BAQS.
Keep up the good work and f&*kem if they don’t want to be a part of this.
Well you need to understand that Black Lives Matter is a hate group so if you support them you support hate. Diversity is great but it sometimes takes you to places that seem legitimate but aren’t. I can’t support any group that promotes hate and violence and if you support BLM then you support hate. Maybe you should support All Lives Matter.
Just found your blog. All I can say is, preach it, sister. I guess you can count me as #211.
Your words are exactly what needs to be stated at this time. You are bold and true. There are few times that a politician will get my all out approval. however, our MN governor told the truth this week when he made his comment about likely different outcomes based on race with regard to the murder of Mr Castille. This is the forthrightness that needs to lead this nation’s discussions now. I can only hope ALL ears will open …. Only to hear, only to consider different realities. Peace… And carry on!
You can’t changed a leopards spots. Realizing that the closet racists are all over is a first step. Please vote to be sure the top office is not held by a supreme racist!
OH Maddie! I didn’t think that I could love you more, but today I do! I admire your bravery and your ability to love through all of this darkness. Please keep doing what you do, and know that I will always be in solidarity with those that choose to love and not hate.
I thought your post was awesome. It makes my heart ache that things are still like this in 2017. Thank you for your post yesterday, and thanks for being a Bad Ass! <3
Wow, I haven’t seen you before on FB and I really, really like your attitude. It echo’s many of my thoughts & I appreciate the WAY you express yourself in my kind of language. Please keep it up & I am going to be a loyal follower from now on. BTW, I’m only an aspiring quilter right now…..keep building my stash, buying patterns & kits & unfortunately putting them away to look at. I have 2 cats who torment me enough with sewing and knitting, counted cross stitch & crocheting. One of these days I will retire & TRAIN the cats!!!! THEN on to quilting!!!
As always…. Well said Maddie!
Sorry you got all the negative responses. People are upset and some people do not react well to stress and lash out at things. It does not excuse it but it just shows how stressed everyone is right now and how alienated we are from each other. We have a lot to do to fix all our problems but you know you can only do your own thing to make things better. If black lives matter and fixing this issue is your calling great. Me I’m into growing my own food and giving it away loving the food is free movement. Start by learning who your neighbors are. Put down the cell phone and go out and find something to help in your community. I’m all about not being a victim and grabbing the bull by the horns and doing something, anything to make things better. Don’t agree with you well people can go somewhere else then. I do that. I take my money where I like the people running that business and what they are doing. Believe me where you spend your money talks. Again sorry you experienced such hate over your opinion. We all need to chill a little and do a little more charity quilting.
Hugs, sweetie. I’ve seen the whiteness of quilting for a while, and I just don’t understand why people get upset about efforts to make our art more diverse. Shouldn’t quilters see that adding more colors makes a more interesting quilt? That the contrast between things is what makes the design interesting?
Which is to say, keep up the good work. The quilting world needs voices like yours.
Just keep on publishing your inclusive message! We need to hear it over and over and over! Rock on!
I applaud you, Maddie! If more people had your passion for what’s right (and maybe not currently comfortable) imagine where we would all be! In the end, love wins!
I so admire your leadership in this fight. It is especially important because of your business and the possibility it will be negatively impacted. Yesterday several others spoke out forcefully as well, two I noted Weeks Ringle and Mary
I am the grandmother of several multi race kids and am so thankful they are girls because I feel they are a little safer than boys would be growing up. But maybe with more open conversation about privilege and the world from a different point of view we can nudge this culture farther along.
I wish I lived close by to drop in and give you a hug and shop more often!
If you are an adult and I am. I hold all people as capable, to be good, to be kind, to be open to new experience and grow. And on that same note they are also capable of the not good things we see every day. It is a choice. Again, IT IS A CHOICE.
I do not hold to the belief that your skin color matters. This is something we are taught and not born with. Ask any small child. They find their friends of color beautiful in their differences. My son when small put it this way. Mom, Uncle has white skin, Auntie has black and my best cousin is like milk chocolate, my favorite thing. How can we as adults be satisfied with what some turn this joy and love into?
Just my thoughts. . Love is not dependent on your race. The Creator(whom ever you this is to you) loves all.
For what little help it might be, I’m right there with you. I have so many thoughts and so few words right now…. but I do know that hate and accusations and thin skin are *not* the answer. I, for one, will do all I can to both support those around me who are in crisis right now and to help educate those who believe there is no crisis.
So sorry to hear of the anger aimed at you for your very thoughtful posting. I’m with you.
Well said – march on with your badass self!!
Yes, you are right. You make sense. You are saying what so many of us without a public platform want to say. So proud to be a BAQ and a part of your BAQS.
Thank you.
It’s only when those of us with privilege speak up that change will occur. Thank you for using your platform and voice to advocate for others.
Sorry things were bad yesterday. I am not going anywhere. I love that you think out of the box!
No matter what position you take there will always be those who feel they have to scrutinize your thoughts, opinions, etc. These people forget you have a right to use your voice as well as they do. And we do not have to agree. It should not be to personally attack someone as a lot of people do, it should be to have your voice heard. We do not all have to think the same way. That is why we are a diverse group of people. I usually do not post at all due to people attacking just as they have you. You are a strong person and will continue to be. Again, we all have a right to voice our thoughts and opinions. People do not need to attack because because our thoughts are not the same, no matter what because all lives are valuable, all lives matter.
Stand on, woman. Very badass.
Thumbs up!
Sorry to hear the negativity you received I did not post to you yesterday but I had shared your blog stating it was a great view of my thoughts. I always hope the positives will outweigh the evil thoughts. Keep up the good fight
I have not joined a quilt guild, because the lack of diversity is so stark. As grey haired white woman myself, I wish I could be with every one of my black male students, I want to protect them with my privilege, but I know it is not possible, not enough, and not fair. I deeply appreciate BAQs as it brings my hobby, and my desire for an equal and diverse world together.
You go girl! You are BadAss indeed, and I so value your way of speaking. Don’t stop being you, because haters gonna hate. <3
Continue speaking up.I support your honesty and bravery.