Normal, such a funny word with a different meaning to each and every person who utters it. My everyday normal was that of being a mother, a wife, a quilter and oh yes, and by the way – bisexual. (Yes, there are bisexual and gay quilters out there, we are not that unusual.)
Most know that I have been a staunch supporter of LGBT activism for a long time and being bisexual is why, it was just my normal.
But my normal has changed and some of you have noticed that my life has expanded in ways that many did not see coming. And while I have not purposely kept secrets I have also not been as publically open as I might in the normal course of events as my life settles into its new BadAss version of normal.
My new normal includes building a life with a woman ( a smart and sassy quilter) I fell in love with a bit over a year ago. (I will give you a second to digest that)
Back with me?
In most cases (dare I say normally?) I would now be telling you of how my husband and I have decided to part ways in an amicable or ugly fashion, how we are all cool or fighting over the kids and the cats but in this case it is just not true. Our life is happy and just a different version of normal.
My new normal continues to include my amazing husband who is still the light of my life and that of her’s as well , we are a monogamous “poly” family.
(Still with me?)
Let me save you the trouble, if Polyfidelity is new to you try this link for a good explanation – Polyfidelity 101
So there you have it, my new normal is that I am happily living with my loves and in my expanded family and if we were to be one of those window sticker families that you see on the backs of mini vans it would look something like this…
My BadAss new normal – and welcome to it!
Please note that while I welcome thoughtful questions, commentary and congratulations any hateful comments will be removed.
I am so happy to see that you ALSO have 6 cats. I was starting to think we were a bit nuts with our 6 but I can see it is quilt normal. 😉
XXXOOO
To follow your passion in all areas of your life is a brave and noble thing. To tell the truth about it is even more so. I congratulate all of you for finding love and living it, no matter what judgments others might have. This is your path, not anyone else’s. Life is short. Do what makes you happy, that’s what I say. JS
It’s awesome that you have the courage to live out loud. Congratulations in finding love with two people who can accept each other and embrace love in a different way. Thanks for all you do in the quilting world! 🙂
Maddie,
You are so much more than a delight in more ways than I can mention. The note I sent to Les is for the three of you.
My Love,
And Three Big Kisses,
Elizabeth
Eh….as long as you and yours are happy….I’m glad for you!
Carry on…..
Thanks Maddie. I feel a distinct lack of queer in the quilting world, except for men – they are happily visible. Congratulations on negotiating and maintaining a relationship and family that works for you all. And for being brave and confident enough to share publicly. This is what builds understanding. And a broader feeling of belonging amongst all quilters.
As I said to you the other day, “You must be true to yourself!” You have just this day to live so make it all you can make it and live in happiness, joy, and loyalty.
Your choice of how to live, and love, is YOURS to make. What is important is that you are a loving, caring, supportive family. I salute you for your courage to live life on YOUR terms, regardless of what some (overly nosy) people may think. Congratulations on your expanding family!!! Long may you love.
I’ve been wondering what’s been going on with you. While this isn’t something that would work for me, I always appreciate your honesty and vulnerability. Nothing you do could change my feelings for you and your husband.
It makes me insanely happy to read that you have SO MUCH LOVE and happiness. And six cats. If my husband would allow, I would be a crazy cat lady. And have lots of big dogs (but big dogs have big poop and I REALLY hate cleaning up poop… may need to rethink that bit).
Really though, how incredibly amazing can you be?? I am so proud to be friends with such an awesomely brave woman. THANK YOU for sharing – because frankly – what the rest of us think really doesn’t matter. What matters is that you all are happy, healthy, and a little crazy.
Have tons of fun at Market and if I were there I would give you the biggest hug EVER!!! xoxoxoxoxo
LOL, I have two big dogs….and a doggy dooley. My son or his roommate do most of the clean-up. VBG, I pay them to come do poop patrol, pull weeds and mow the lawn. Works for us. I would have cats too if I didn’t have to worry about my dogs playing too rough.
Life is too short to be unhappy…..
Maddie (and Flaun and Les, too!)…. congratulations on coming out to the world!! The longer I live my life, the more I recognize that “normal” is just a dryer setting (and I never use that setting either!) As someone who couldn’t handle being married to ONE person, I can’t imagine the work that goes into your relationship…. but it’s sure been fun to be see you all come together! It’s inspiring… REALLY!! 🙂
Good for you for being brave and living the way you want.
But I do have questions (without judgment– just for understanding.). With three people, does one get jealous when two people are ebbing and two others are flowing? Or do you have to work hard to keep it as a three-person dynamic to keep everyone happy? Or is this a honeymoon phase where everyone is still happy? Also, is this a first for all of you?
You don’t have to answer these questions, of course:). But prepare your answers for when I see you at market! Take care!
Danielle, Life is daily balance of feelings, needs and desires of three adults caring for each other and three kids living at home not to mention those who are out of the nest as well. It is constant communication, understanding and the occasion emotional breakdown.. in short, it is life to the power of 3 🙂
You must have a really big house.
Seven kids and nine pets….wowser!;)
Rock On with your BadAss Self!!!! Isn’t it great to come out of the closet! 🙂 Mazel Tov to all 3 of you darlin’!
Hugs!
Sam (Bi, Kinky and Non-monogamous)
Love on Madds, love on!
Maddie,
Your life style is your choice. What is important is that all concerned are happily content.
Now you had better load up on laser lights to keep all those kitties happy. BTW, are any of the kitties bisexual? Maybe the dogs could be interspeciesal? They could keep the kitties happy!
Keep on keepin’ on!
I wondered if/when you might post this. We love you for being you. Roll on, Lady, roll on.
your announcement brought a smile to my face! Congratulations! I have always believed that polyamorus love should be accepted in society. (Provided, of course, that all are consensensual adults) keep on being your badass self!
Maddie:
I admire your courage and integrity so much! I am delighted to hear that you are being true to yourself on your journey through this life. I’m so glad you married a man of integrity who also has a heart that is expansive, devoted, and loving. You deserve the best life can offer. In my experience that is only possible when people are open to whatever the universe offers. Humans plan, God laughs! Be happy, joyous, and free to be you! Let the world rejoice whenever love prevails!
Keep writing my badass friend!
Love,
Michelle
Being a curious (nosy) cuss I did wonder what was going on. But hey, if you are all happy, I am cool with it. After all, I have never thought of you as the “June Cleaver” type at all.
Maddie are you happy? Are your partners Happy? Is your family Happy? In getting to know you in the last few years you seem to be very happy always! Well sometimes if your having a bad day… but we all have bad days! My point is: If you and your family are happy and taking care of life the best way you can than all the other stuff is just that “stuff”. As a friend if you are happy than I am happy, nothing else matters. Enjoy Life, Love and the Pursuit of Happiness…congratulations to your whole family on the additional happiness!
Being “normal” in today’s world is to be whatever makes you the most happy. It sucks that you have to explane your life especially when it’s such a great one that makes you and your family as happy and comfortable as it does. I live for the day that when someone can say “yes I’m gay” and the person they are talking to just shrugges and goes on with life like its just not that big of a deal. I was lucky to be raised by a grandmother that, even if she didn’t always agree with everything, believed everyone should be happy and she never once looked down or difrently at anyone for anything they did or how they lived their lives. I still remember the look on my cousins face when he came out to my grandmother many years ago. He had asked me if I thought he should say anything, if it would cause more problems than it would help but I told him to go for it. Grammy was suffering from cancer and didn’t have much time left. When he sat by her bed and told her that he was in love and what his partners name was she just smiled, grabbed his hand with hers and said “I love you, no matter what you are or do you will always be my family.” We all sat and cried for a good long time. I wish everyone were more like my grandmother, as long as everyone was happy all was good.
Good for you and your family…all of it! Be kind to one another…you are very blessed to have so many to live and love you back! God Bless!
Good for you Maddie, I believe that love creates more love. I am happy you and your family are happy xxx
Wait – you have SIX cats now? Now that is shocking!
But seriously…Thanks for the update because I have missed hearing about you and your family and your crazy couch eating dogs. Yesterday’s vague(ish) post about being bi-sexual had me scratching my head, but only because I was like, “What?” “When did that happen, did I miss something?”
I am glad that you and your new love and your husband, kids, dogs and cats (6? really?) are happy. THAT is all that matters. Oh yeah, and that you keep being a badass! Hugs!!!! Suzanne
Thanks Suzanne, and I have always been bisexual, like most I knew from early on my identity even if at times I did not choose be be outloud about it. And yes you are right, six cats is rather a sordid mess 🙂